tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32845186.post1443129739219182655..comments2023-06-07T04:51:18.845-06:00Comments on Confessions of a Former Ag Major: What is marriage?Janethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17615575846268382329noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32845186.post-28305766174715524882009-06-10T08:54:06.002-06:002009-06-10T08:54:06.002-06:00Beautiful piece, Janet.
For me, marriage is about...Beautiful piece, Janet.<br /><br />For me, marriage is about selflessness. I married my best friend almost 18 years ago and I believe we are still deeply in love because we both consider the other's happiness to be of great importance. I think we are considered unusual because of that. :o) My husband was in counseling a few years ago because of job related stress. The counselor had me accompany him at one session and said our biggest problem was that we are too protective of each other. :o)<br /><br />Peace and Laughter,<br />Cristinajugglingpayneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10921293051956441475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32845186.post-39179890099132353252009-06-03T20:25:07.364-06:002009-06-03T20:25:07.364-06:00Barbara, I still think of us a newlyweds too. It w...Barbara, I still think of us a newlyweds too. It was as I was thinking about the dates while writing the post that I realized we've been married most of a decade. I don't feel 9 years older...<br /><br />It's nice hearing about other people's happy marriages. We hear so much about unhappy marriages. I really wanted others to share what this commitment means to them!Janethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17615575846268382329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32845186.post-11177837765805850782009-06-02T19:17:16.333-06:002009-06-02T19:17:16.333-06:00Neat post, Janet. My first thought when you said y...Neat post, Janet. My first thought when you said you were married in 2000 was, "They're practically newlyweds." And then you said you weren't, LOL. I guess it's because of my perspective; we'll be married 30 years this summer. So 2000 doesn't seem very long ago at all!<br /><br />We also got married in a Lutheran church, and God is part of our marriage. We had four terrific childless years before embarking on the parenting voyage. Since our youngest is dev. delayed, we may always be in a parent mode. That's cool; God knows what He's doing. But we do have great memories of those long ago years when it was just us two.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing your marriage story :)Barbara Frankhttp://www.barbarafrankonline.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32845186.post-90982933631896115212009-05-31T21:40:00.894-06:002009-05-31T21:40:00.894-06:00I really think Wendell is a great premarital counc...I really think Wendell is a great premarital councilor. He brought so many practical things up in counseling that there weren't many things a couple wouldn't have talked about by the time they got married. Plus I just love to mention to my conservative friends that our pastor recommended getting a sex manual, and said that there wasn't anything you couldn't do as long as you were both comfortable with it and weren't hurting anyone else. It just shocks there.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07165177320106815075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32845186.post-49137343731004512022009-05-31T16:47:01.879-06:002009-05-31T16:47:01.879-06:00One of the things I am most grateful for is that d...One of the things I am most grateful for is that during one of our marriage counseling sessions (before the wedding) the pastor asked if we said, "I love you." Of course I am a woman and I talk (a lot) so it's something I say a lot. Dave- not so much. His response when Wendell asked him how he showed his love (since he's not good at saying much about emotion) was, "I do the dishes." Years later it's easy for me to see the actions he uses to express his feelings. There probably would have been a bit more strife in our early marriage if this hadn't been addressed during pre-marital counseling.Janethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17615575846268382329noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32845186.post-82180917240188873272009-05-31T14:57:55.332-06:002009-05-31T14:57:55.332-06:00Alright now for my real comments.
I agree with ...Alright now for my real comments. <br /><br />I agree with a lot you said, the only difference it that I would have to say I don't see God as being in our marriage but more as the ultimate witness to our marriage and the vows we made to each other.<br /><br />Your post also reminded me of what my parents say when people ask how they have stayed together so long. (almost 40 years) They don't have this mushy gushy statement, although I know the love is there. Instead they just say they're both too stubborn to give up during the hard times. I've always thought that this was a lesson some couples really needed to learn.<br /><br />When I got engaged to Andy I had several friends who had these idealized versions of what it was going to be like to be married, the grand passion, the romance. Anyways these friends kept asking me how I knew Andy was the one, and I would tell them that he was one of my best friends, and when I was away from him, I would still have fun, but I'd also be thinking I wish he was here or I'll have to tell him about this later. They would look at me like I was crazy and ask what about those "prince charming type things". I just kept thinking I'm marrying a real person, not a fairytale prince. Yes I love him, but it's for WHO he really is. So many people marry expecting the courtship to continue and then just give up when it doesn't instead of really knowing the PERSON they are flaws and all.<br /><br />So when we said our vows (we used the same as you, or did you used the same as us, since we married first) we knew that sometimes it might be just our stubborness getting us through the tough times, but like our parents we were in for the long haul.<br /><br />I know it's not a very romantic view, but we do love each other very much and there is a certain comfort in knowing that neither of us have unrealistic expectations and that we aren't going to runaway when it's not perfect, because this is life.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07165177320106815075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32845186.post-75587323105335251122009-05-31T09:27:32.341-06:002009-05-31T09:27:32.341-06:00Hi Janet!
It is inspiring and nice to read this a...Hi Janet!<br /><br />It is inspiring and nice to read this as I'm preparing to marry in October. I'm 31 and my partner is 37 so we're both mature enough now, I think, to recognize our relationship to be fun and loving, but it is also work. I'm excited to have a ceremony with our loved ones as a symbol of the effort and attention we are willing to put into a life together.Blind Dog Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00113319910866693335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32845186.post-45087684541874501602009-05-30T17:26:58.845-06:002009-05-30T17:26:58.845-06:00These are the vows that I was telling you about, t...These are the vows that I was telling you about, that Terry and Kate used in their wedding.<br /><br />Hands Ceremony<br /><br />Kate, please face Terry, and hold his hands, palms up, so you may see the gift that they are to you.<br />These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises to love you all the days of his life.<br />These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost secrets and dreams.<br />These are the hands that look so large and strong, yet will be so gentle as he holds your child for the first time.<br />These are the hands that will work long hours for you and your new family.<br />These are that hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.<br />These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.<br />These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief overwhelm you.<br />These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you.<br /><br />Terry, please hold Kate's hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to you.<br />These are the hands of your best friend, smooth, young and carefree, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as she promises to love you all the days of her life.<br />These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing them through illness and hurt, supporting and encouraging them along the way, and knowing when it is time to let go.<br />These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times<br />These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or console you when you are grieving.<br />They are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.<br />These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish for can be realized.<br />Bless these hands that you see before you this day. May they always be held by one another. Give them the strength to hold on during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment. Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love. Help these hands to continue building a relationship founded in grace, rich in caring, and devoted to reaching for perfection. May Joseph and Nancy see their four hands as healer, protector, shelter and guide.<br />Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration, difficulty or fear assail your relationship - as they threatened all relationships at one time or another - remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part that seems wrong.<br />In this way, you can ride out the times when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there.<br />And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your lives together, your life together will be marked by abundance and delight.<br />Inasmuch as you have consented together in this ceremony to live in wedlock and have sealed your vows in the presence of this company and by the giving of these rings, it gives me great pleasure to pronounce that you are Husband and Wife.<br />Congratulations, you may kiss the bride!Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07165177320106815075noreply@blogger.com