Janet rarely writes when she is happy

It's true. I sit here looking at the computer day after day, thinking to myself, "I should really post something on my blog." The sad truth of the matter is that I do most of my writing when I'm excited about something. One day I told someone that I have a "mad" blog. That's not quite true. I've been getting a bit more blog traffic lately so I went back and re-read a lot of the old posts (to make sure there wasn't anything too terribly embarrasing on here). It's not so much that I write when I'm mad, it's just easier to write when I feel strongly.

The number of posts addressing religion and religious issues astounds me. I do tend to think about religion and faith a lot (who doesn't?) but it suprises me that it's something I write about so frequently. I have typed things here on my blog that I would never dream of saying to people I'm not very comfortable with. When new people read my blog it is the religious posts that cause me the most concern- because they are from that very soft, easy to hurt, belly of my psyche. My faith is the most private thing I write about.

It also suprised me to find how few of my posts are directly about my children. I'm with the kids all day, every day. You would think that I would write about them, and not just as an after thought. Perhaps it's because I'm with them all the time that I don't write more about them.

Moms spend a lot of time during any given day going through the motions. A lot of what we do can be done on autopilot. Although time consuming, there's not a lot of intellect required to fold the laundry. Cooking requires a bit of direction following (sometimes) but it's not rocket science. Scrubbing the floors, cleaning the toilet, running the kids to appointments- there's not a lot of thought involved in any of those tasks. And so... I think. I think not terribly deep thoughts, but they're my thoughts. I own them. They don't belong to other people. I don't have to speak them, but some days I want to share my thoughts and in a household with three young boys, two dogs, a rabbit, a guinea pig, and internet.... well...

The world wide web provides me the opportunity to speak my mind, vent when I'm angry, rejoice when I'm happy, grieve when I'm sad, and share when I feel creative. Through the marvels of modern technology I can connect with other people who have similiar interests and sometimes I can just put my thoughts "out there" and it feels as good as if I'd had a major heart to heart with a good friend. I think it makes my husband happy that I can work through things by writing before I come and vent to him... it shortens the stories.