If I were dating...

A friend and I were talking last night about the qualities we'd look for in a man if we were dating. She's young and has never been married. I'm not so young and was married for nine years. Neither one of us is looking at the moment, but if we were- what traits appeal and which really, really don't?

So, in no particular order, here are the traits I find attractive in a man:

Intelligence

Honesty

Good Sense of Humor

Ability to admit mistakes- and then deal with them

Self-Sufficiency

Love of the outdoors

Faith- you don't have to believe exactly the same things I do, but you'd better believe something

Monogamy

Love of learning- not necessarily formal education, just learn things regularly

Belief in the importance of family

Ability to learn anything you need to learn

Ability to shoot someone or something if the situation warrants it

Ability to remain calm during an emergency

Love and defense of liberty

Responsibility

Sense of adventure

Enjoyment of life's simple pleasures

And the deal breakers:

Hands softer than mine (and mine aren't that rough)

Inability to change your own oil- I pay to change mine, you can too- but for heaven's sake don't pay for it just because you're not capable of changing it

Dishonesty

Stupidity- everyone makes mistakes but the ignorant can be educated

Not getting my sense of humor- absolute deal breaker :-)

Dislike of animals and/or children

Being grossed out by blood and other bodily fluids/functions- If I can clean it up, bandage it, or otherwise deal with it- you'd better be able to as well

Lack of mechanical skills- If I'm better at mechanical things than you are I probably won't find that a turn on.

Inability to be flexible- also not a turn on.

Inability to laugh at yourself- see previous disqualifications.

Unwillingness to continue looking for new educational experiences

Lack of interest in nature

Lack of knowledge about nature

Lack of understanding of basic scientific principles

Lack of understanding of basic logic and reasoning

Spending more time on your hair than I do- In my experience this means I'm really, really not your type.

I'm sure that given time and contemplation both lists will get longer. But for now... It'll have to do. I'm really not looking- just jotting my thoughts down before they leave my head never to be heard from again. Of course there are a slew of other traits that I find attractive or unattractive but I can be more flexible in those areas. In the past I would have said that I am attracted to tall, dark haired, dark eyed men. Of the three men I've spent any real time dating one was almost 6' tall, brown haired and hazel eyed. The other two were shorter, blond, and blue eyed. I thought Dave was pretty cute and he was blond, blue-eyed, and average height so it just goes to show- there are absolute must haves and must not haves, everything else is just stuff :-)