As you can probably tell, I have rediscovered my blog. It's an odd thing to have a blog just hanging out somewhere in cyberspace and never visiting it. For a while we didn't have the computer hooked up to a phone line ... it lives in a black hole on our patio where the phone signal doesn't like to go. Finally when I decided for sure we are going to homeschool we got satellite internet (which I love). Then it took me a few months to remember what kind of things I used to do when I had internet access. So here I am. Two years later.
Initially today I looked up the blog because Chris is so opposed to writing that it seemed like a good idea to practice some of what I'm preaching. Then I started reading everyone else's blogs and realized that while the computer's been disconnected I lost touch with a lot of people. Now it feels like I've fallen behind. Behind what, I'm not certain.
We're finishing fair season here in the Treasure Valley. The Western Idaho Fair will be finished this Saturday. I promised Chris we could go to the rabbit show, but today I remembered that there's an Anderson family reunion in Meridian on Saturday. Hmmm.... which is more important? Family reunion? Promise to a six year old? How do I convince him he'd rather spend time with his family? We all know that come Saturday morning our family will be in Meridian and not at the fair, but Chris is going to carry a grudge for a long time. Next spring he'll be talking about something and at some point I'll hear, "You remember when you said we could go to the rabbit show? You know, the one at the Bestern Idaho Fair? And then you wouldn't go to the fair..."
Parenting is hard. Some times you have to change the plan midway through whatever is going on. I know that consistency is important and we certainly try to be consistent. Some days it's harder than others. I have such a fear of school this year. This is unlike anything we've ever done before, and yet it's supposed to be so much like everything that's gone before. It's a strange and uncomfortable paradox. What if my son doesn't learn well from me? What if I forget to teach him something important that six year olds NEED to know? What if I strangle him because he won't SIT DOWN and complete his handwriting homework? What if I think he's gifted and truly he's struggling and falling behind? What if the clean laundry becomes dislodged during an earthquake and we're all buried beneath the clean socks that don't have mates?