Oh, God is good to me...

One of the things that makes me maddest, of all the stupid things people say, is the belief that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people. A former friend of ours was heard to say, "Well, what did you expect?" when he heard the news. We're not good enough for him. He went back to the LDS church, Dave did not. Tonight on Brandy's blog a well meaning commenter said a few things that I'd like to take issue with.

What many of you don't know about me is that when I began college I was firmly on the fence between being an agnostic and an atheist. Some of the doubts raised by this commenter were doubts I lived with on a daily basis.

My father died when I was 22 months old. I've carried a lot of bitterness and many questions for a lot of years. My children are 7, 5, and 3. Their dad was 39. I don't carry those doubts anymore.

When I was young I wrestled with the idea of the Trinity. One of my aunts explained it like this:

She took three matches and held them in her hand, one for each member of the trinity- the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. She lit each match and held the three together. Then she explained that fire is one element that increases as it is spread out- rather than becoming depleted it actually gains strength the farther you stretch it. But you have to feed it.

One of my neighbors explained the Holy Spirit as God's love living inside each one of us.

Genaura (my old roommate) was such a blessing. She never preached, didn't quote scriptures at me, didn't tell me how she was righteous or her faith was right where others were wrong. She just lived her life.

I think there's a light inside each and every one of us. When I arrived at the University my light was like a pilot light on a gas stove. It was still there but it was so small I didn't even register it's existence.

Genaura was filled with a glow so large it spilled out from her and touched those around her. Without doing anything more than living her life- she filled me. My light fed from her light. Through the years that light has gained in strength and intensity. If you feed it it will grow.

There are things I have done this year that I knew at the time were unusual for me and our family. When the apricot tree bloomed early I believed that, just like the past 5 years, we would not have an apricot crop this year. When it froze (and it did freeze more than once after the tree bloomed) I prayed, "Lord, please save the apricots. Please let us have an apricot crop this year." Every time it frosted, "Lord, please let my family enjoy apricots this year."

If you follow me on facebook you already know that we had such an abundance of apricots that my entire freezer is filled with them. We ate and ate and ate and enjoyed the abundant apricots. I worked long, long days making jam and I smiled the whole time and while I worked I sang, "Oh God is good to me, and so I thank the Lord, for giving me the things I need, the sun and the rain and the appleseeds. Oh God. Is. Good. To. Me. Amen, amen, amen, amen, amen...... amen.

I tried all summer to teach that song to my children and started using it as a blessing before meals. I had to look up the lyrics when the apricots starting ripening because I vaguely remembered the song and felt such a strong need to sing it. Whenever I tried to get my youngest to sing he would sing the song he made up about his blanket. It's titled, "Blankie, Blankie, Blankie." He never did show the slightest interest in my appleseed song.

The day Dave died several things happened that were not quite usual and customary for our family. It was October 1st. October 1st is the start of the new 4-H year. Our club meets the first Thursday of each month. October 1st is a Thursday. Sam, Chris and I went to 4-H that night. Before we left I packed their lunches for the next day and Dave helped me. We stayed longer than usual because it was our enrollment meeting and people kept waylaying me.

Usually our evening routine had me on the computer (because I very much need a little alone time now and then) and the kids playing out in the shop with Dave. Dave died while I was at 4-H. My Sam would probably have been playing in the same room at the time it happened.

Usually I'm playing on the computer or writing when it's time for the kids to go to bed. Dave handles bedtime. When the kids finish getting their stories from Grandma Chris goes out to the shop to tell his dad that it's time for good night rides.

On October 1st my dogs were driving me crazy. I thought they wanted food but when I filled their bowl they ran out of our house and towards the shop. I figured that Dave was out there watching TV and just waiting for a commercial before he came inside to see us.

Except that I kept thinking, "What if he's laying out there dead?"

But I shrugged that off until the dogs started doing their jig and running between the house and shop. At that point I saw red all over the floor of the garage. My heart stopped and I wondered if Dave had injured himself and gotten to the shop only to bleed to death. Then I realized what I was seeing was chalk all over the floor from when he cut my Styrofoam sheets for the kids to use in their bug class.

I walked out to the shop and my dogs were waiting, like sentinels, on either side of the door. At that point I knew something was wrong. I entered the building and there he was. Dave looked like he had fallen asleep. I knew.

Thursday night was the most terrible experience I've endured in my entire life. But in many ways this is also the most miraculous time of my entire existence. Things have happened for us this week that I have no explanation for. We are so surrounded by love. We were surrounded even as I found him. There are so many little things, too many to even begin listing that have to be miracles.

My God is a loving God. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. We'll never know why. It's a mystery. I'm ok with that.

You need to know that my burden is heavy. The words to Until It Sleeps say much more eloquently what is seething inside me than my words could ever convey. But every time I play that song and the grief almost overwhelms me my three year old comes running in the door singing, "Oh God is good to me..."

Always read scripture in context. Don't ever take someone else's interpretation of it. Think for yourself. With that admonishment I'd like to share Ezekiel 34:26, "I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing." We are so blessed. Our family is surrounded by the love and the light that radiated from David- and his light shone bright, oh it was so bright. That light has not dimmed even though the body that housed it is no longer with us. And on Friday morning I cried as I stood where my husband had died and I sang the appleseed song.

Today when I thought that the monster inside me was going to be very hard to fight my three year old came every time I almost gave way and he sang, "Oh God is good to me..." A few times he just kept repeating those few words until I could smile and finish the song with him.

Never doubt that God is loving and merciful. Why did he choose now to call my husband home? It's a mystery. There are many mysteries in life. We're not meant to know everything. There isn't an answer we can understand for every question we ask.

Know. Know beyond a shadow of doubt. WE ARE LOVED.

Thursday night I was sitting next to an old friend from the days when I was a 4-H member. We watched a woman working with the kids who were learning how to run a meeting. She is so happy, and goofy, and amazing. Her light spills over and feeds the light inside all of the people in our club. Within the past few years she lost a son and had her other son's wife die- leaving two little boys without a mother. Brenda never talks during the meetings. On Thursday she leaned over and whispered, "I don't know how she gets out of bed in the mornings."

I can tell you how she gets out of bed in the morning. WE ARE LOVED.

This week people keep telling me, "You are the strongest woman I know." I'm not strong. I am weak. The beast stirs inside me. I feel it under my skin. And it hates you. Don't ask this week how I'm doing. I might tell you. You will be scarred. Because the beast stirs. But whenever the beast stirs my three year old comes running.

Oh God is good to me, and so I thank the Lord, for giving me the things I need, the sun, and the rain and the appleseeds. Oh God is good to me.

One of the topics I rarely blog about is my husband. There's a reason for that. I never wanted to say something that I would regret later or anything that might embarrass him. Our relationship was still very new and very basic. There rarely was much to say that didn't directly relate to the intimacy of our marriage. Sometimes any information is too much information so I rarely shared much about Dave in this forum.

When people would talk about difficulties in their marriage I would listen and then wonder how people got themselves to this point in their relationships. Then I would remind myself that we're still relatively newlyweds and that maybe with a few more years and miles under our belts there would be more discord in our marriage too. We've only been married since the fourth day of November in 2000.

I cannot quite wrap my mind around the fact that I'm writing this in past tense. My husband, my love, passed away very unexpectedly the night before last. He always warned me that he would not be here forever- that the men in his family are not long lived. I believed him. I did not believe that I would be a widow before I turned thirty-five. I did not believe that there would be a day when I would be raising my young sons without their father.

This morning when I woke up there was no one there. I was alone in my bed. During the course of our marriage it was very rare to ever spend a night away from each other. Some years we didn't. Even in years that Dave worked out of town we rarely spent more than 10 nights in a year apart. Most years we were separated at night for one night when Chris and I would go to a rabbit show in Kennewick and stay over.

Having consciously chosen to keep my husband (for the most part) out of my blog means that most who read here don't know much of anything about him. Let's change that.

David Larry Anderson was born in Boise, ID on June 6th in 1970 to Larry and Patricia Anderson. He grew up in the town of Nampa and attended Nampa schools, graduating from Nampa High School in 1988. He was active in Boy Scouts and even spent a few summers working at the Boy Scout Camp (need to look up where). David was always interested in being outside and spent many happy weeks camping, fishing, hiking, and shooting. His favorite activity was shooting black powder revolvers.

On Nov. 4th, 2000 David married Janet Loucks in Nampa. They welcomed their first child, Christian, on Nov. 1st, 2001. Sam joined the family in 2004, and Jake was born in 2005. David lived for his family. There was nothing he would rather do than spend time with his wife and children. He was an amazing father and husband who was always actively involved in raising and caring for his family.

Nowhere on Earth was there a kinder, gentler, man than David.

He is survived by his parents; his wife Janet; his sons Chris, Sam, and Jake; his sister and brother in law Pam and Ciro Gaona and their children Ciro and Miranda, his brother and sister-in-law Andrew Anderson and Veronica Garcia and their son Noe, His sister Katie and brother-in-law David Tuft and their children Sophia and James.

At some point this morning I need to finish the obituary for the paper. He was so vital, and warm, and so large a part of our family that I am not sure how to consolidate all that he was into a few paragraphs that his friends and family can read in the newspaper. He is and always will be my love, and my husband, and he'll always carry a very large part of my heart with him.

I have talked with the pastor about some of my wishes for a funeral. All summer I've wondered why it was I felt so driven to write about Uncle K's funeral. This week I can approach funeral arrangements having already thought out what seems to provide the most comfort for our family.

There are three main points I'd like everyone to remember while mourning the passing of our friend and loved one: We are saved through grace, God has promised us life everlasting with him, and love endures. Even when we are no longer together here on Earth- love endures.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

But where there are prophesies, they will cease; where there are tongues they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Cor. 13:4-13).

Everything I know of Dave boils down to love. He loved deeply, completely, without reservation, and forever. There is no doubt in my mind that his whole heart was given to loving his family and friends, the wild outdoors areas, and freedom. Never have I doubted his love, once given it is eternal. Love endures where the physical body cannot. Even now, I feel him around us- loving us.

Life in the Dining Room

Until recently most of our family meals were consumed in the kitchen. Our kitchen is fairly large and there is a butcher block table with four chairs that sits in the middle of the floor. We have two folding chairs that are stored in the laundry room that we bring out for meals. It's a little bit crowded to have six people sit down for meals in the kitchen, but the floor is linoleum and the clean-up is easy.

Earlier this summer Chris volunteered to set the table if we could start eating dinner in the dining room. Our dining room is carpeted and the antique Duncan Phyfe table combined with the white upholstery on the chairs made me leary of letting small children eat regular meals in that room. Chris was adament that this was something he wanted to try and the little boys were excited about setting the nice table and using the good placemats so I decided to let them eat Saturday dinners in the dining room and we would practice our "good" manners (instead of our evil manners).

After about three weeks of eating Saturday dinner in the dining room we started eating most dinners in there. Chris and Sam set the table every night (a new chore) and Jake takes out the salt and pepper and napkins.

In the beginning I thought it would be more work to eat in the dining room. I was scared the kids would make a mess and I'd wind up with even more stuff I had to do. It's actually easier than eating in the kitchen. We don't have to look at the mess left from cooking. I can move around the kitchen table without tripping over kids sitting in chairs waiting for me to serve food. The kids set the table. All I have to do is carry the plates to the table (we use Fiestaware and it's heavy). The boys love choosing which placemats we're using and which color plates we're eating on every night. They all know which side of the plate the forks go on and can usually place the salad and place forks correctly.

It's been a good thing. I'm glad that I gave in and let the kids fuss around with setting the dining room table. Dinner is actually less stressful and less work than it was while we were eating in the kitchen. We still eat breakfast and lunch in the kitchen, but there are fewer people being served for those meals and we are more informal. All three boys have gotten into the new routine. Chris and Sam have also started making the salad or vegetable for dinner. Setting the table has made them more aware of how many dishes need to be carried out before we can begin eating. They also realize that they can help more and by helping have more input about what we're eating.

Strength

In preparing to begin a new school year I've been spending a bit of time analyzing our goals. Of course each child has educational goals, but we also have parenting and life goals that should be evaluated as well. One word keeps popping up in my evaluations:

• strength: Pronunciation: \ˈstreŋ(k)th, ˈstren(t)th\
• Function: noun
• 1 : the quality or state of being strong : capacity for exertion or endurance

2 : power to resist force : solidity, toughness
3 : power of resisting attack : impregnability
4 a : legal, logical, or moral force b : a strong attribute or inherent asset strengthsand the weaknesses of the book are evident
5 a : degree of potency of effect or of concentration strengths b : intensity of light, color, sound, or odor c : vigor of expression
6 : force as measured in numbers : effective numbers of any body or organization strength
7 : one regarded as embodying or affording force or firmness : support strength

My ultimate goal for each member of my family is strength. I want to raise these boys to become strong men. When the world changes around them I need them to be strong enough to deal with wise changes and to hold steady (even to the point of becoming counter-culture) against change that is occurring simply for the sake of change.

When their faith is tested (and you know it will be) I want them to be strong enough to look into other beliefs and question everything that they know... and then rebuild their faith based upon the truths they discover when their questions are answered.

When the media tells them what to believe and how to live I hope they will be intellectually strong enough to question the media sources, and the motives of individuals and companies backing the research leading to the "latest results."

When confronted with people and ideas foreign to them I hope my family has strength of compassion and character that allows them to see all individuals as equal and all viewpoints as valid- even when they disagree.

There is a movement afoot (not a new movement either) that believes it's in the best interest of our children to remove from public view everything that does not fit in with our own personal belief systems. That is a dangerous way of thinking. It removes individuals rights to liberty and personal expression. It suppresses art and political dissent. Perhaps most disturbing- it prevents our children from experiencing the opportunity to hone their judgement and truly embrace the morals and values we're trying to teach them.

What sort of future men and women are we raising if we truly believe that simply seeing others living and believing differently is a threat? Is it really a threat if women show a bit of cleavage or a lot of leg? Will it damage your children to see strangers drinking beer at a restaurant? Does having dinner with a gay couple actually have the power to destroy nuclear families?

Strength of character, intelligence, convictions, and faith is the most important thing I can teach my children. More important than reading, math, or science is strength. Less tangible, not quantifiable, and uncertain until tested is strength. Yet, I think it may be the most important asset of them all.

Struggles

Ok, we're back from our first meeting with our "contact" teacher. She's the person who will be coordinating our education efforts, monitoring how well we meet standards and benchmarks for the grade, etc, etc.

I really like our teacher. I don't really like the whole education process. One point that's bugging me immensely is the target reading fluency for second grade. By the end of the year my child should be able to read (out loud) 94 words/minute. If you've ever spoken with Chris you know that while he may talk non-stop he does not talk fast. I don't think he can say 94 words in a minute much less read 94 words out loud in a minute. I understand that it's progress the school is looking for. Progress is great. Progress is our goal. Setting an arbitrary standard (and yes, I do think it's pretty arbitrary) and then having to work toward it makes no sense to me. Shouldn't our goal be to have him improve fluency period. Goals are important. I'd like to set some goals that are more achievable and in line with my child's abilities.

My son has really poor fine and gross motor skills. His speech is greatly affected by lack of fine motor control. He speaks slowly, pendanticly, and in a monotone. One of the standards for second grade reading involves reading with appropriate expression. Does my child have to have an IEP in order to account for his lack of expression while reading or speaking? Will meeting once a week with the special ed director improve his motor skills, speech, and expressive abilities? I don't want to be running all over the valley to interventions again this school year. We've been there, done that, and don't have a lot of improvement to show for it.

Why is it so important that all stages of reading be taught with intensive writing? If the writing is physically very hard, shouldn't it move at a different pace than the reading? If my child has different challenges than the average child does that mean he needs to be in special education? Why isn't it enough that as a homeschooler he gets one on one time with his teacher? He makes so much progress every summer. Quatifiable, visible progress. During the school year he doesn't gain nearly as much in terms of skills or knowledge.

What's the difference between school time and summer time? We stay home in the summer and don't deal with interventions (expect speech). Could it be that all the time taken up by "special ed" actually leaves him farther behind? Is it possible that allowing him to remain focused on his daily routine is more beneficial than running around meeting with "experts?" By Jove, I think I've got it! If being part of the charter school means weekly meetings or interventions I don't think we want to participate in it.

We Survived!

It was over 100 degrees for most of the 2009 Canyon County Fair & Festival. We spent all day, every day on the fairgrounds (except for Wednesday when we left about 5 pm). One rabbit died from the heat and the stress (not from our group, thank goodness!). On Saturday night the transformers at the edge of the fairgrounds blew after a car accident took a power pole down somewhere in town. Our goat was the closest living thing near the power pole when the sky lit up and slag started hitting the ground. A bit of grain helped him recover from the shock :-) The majority of the people in the pygmy goat barn stayed until power was restored in order to offer assistance if the rabbits had to be evacuated from their barn (since the rabbit barn is metal with no insulation- no air conditioning means dead rabbits once the sun is up). My quirky son signed himself up for the greased pig contest and a good time was had by all (no, he didn't get to touch the pig). Chris showed his guinea pig (I forgot the camera that day) and my mom's pygmy goat. He's all set to do it all over again next year and show his first market lamb!

Fair Banner, work in progress

Here's a picture of the banner I'm making for the pygmy goat kids to use over their pens. In case you're wondering- I do realize that font is hard to read and kind of weird looking. I'm just too cheap to go buy another set of stencils! Aren't the cows cute though? I love my happy cow fabric (Alexander Henry, In the Moood).

This is me

Sometimes it feels as if the individuals we encounter during our blog explorations have joined our circle of friends. Certainly there are several blogs that I read regularly and I hold their authors in high esteem and some days it feels as if I truly know them and they know me.

Today while reading blogs it occurred to me that most of you who read my blog really don't know me. If you judge who I am and what I'm interested in based solely on what you've read in my blog then you only know a very small bit about who I am.

Most of you probably don't really care about the bits I don't write. We really have a very superficial relationship. It's alright. I'm ok with that.

It should be apparent that first and foremost I'm a wife and mother. Whenever I have to fill out a form that asks for occupation I write "mom." This blog also reflects that I have an interest in cooking, sewing, and crafting. I think that most of what I blog about concerns one or more of the subjects I've listed so far.

The things I don't write about (at least not more than once a year) are politics (I'm ultra conservative- but if you've been reading for a while you know that), health (I have an autoimmune inflammatory arthritis), my dreams and ambitions (mostly on hold until I have time to list something other than "mom" under occupation), my childhood (I grew up on a small farm and my mother and grandfather both worked in academia. My father died when I was 22 months old), and my marriage (because marriage is private and I don't ever want my husband to wonder what I'm telling the world about him).

Rarely, if ever, do I write about the things I really dislike. I don't tell you (until today) that I hate stupid people. Oops, I've been trying to get my kids to quit using words like hate and stupid. What I really meant to say is: I have a strong dislike of dealing with people who are intellectually challenged. There are a lot of intellectually challenged people in the world. A lot of those people seem to have life paths that intersect mine on a regular basis.

I don't write about how much I really, really, really like science and math. My best friend thinks I'm weird because one of the things that draws me to quilt is that it satisfies the math part of my brain with it's planning, continuity, and rhythm. She's asked me to refer beginning quilting questions to her instead of scaring people by telling them how much quilting is like math :-) Science is life. Math is life. Everything in the universe when broken into it's component parts is math and science. I accidentally minored in chemistry during college (and purposely minored in biology, ecology, economics, and zoology). Discussing disease vectoring actually excites me. Just a warning... I enjoy discussing nutrition and one of my dreams is pursuing cancer research (there's this theory I have...).

When people meet me these days I am sure that what they see is an overweight, thirty-something, homeschooling, mother of three. I'm sure that it's not a suprise to anyone that I bake bread and make yogurt. It's not suprising that I can sew or even that I'm a 4-H leader. What might suprise you is that I think being conservative means making fewer rules and allowing other people to make their own choices. It might suprise people that not only can I sort out lambs during a difficult delivery, I can kill an animal if it's needed.

Today I usually wear jeans, knit shirts, and Birkenstocks. I grew up wearing jeans, knit shirts, and cowboy boots. My boots were fashionable (for boots) but they all had traces of manure on the soles and the heels were designed to keep my foot from slipping through the stirrup in the event my horse "got in a storm" (which means an animal moving quickly and not rationally placing it's body to avoid injuring itself or it's rider). My neck curves the wrong way coming out of my head because more than once in my life I've been thrown from a horse and landed uncomfortably. Every injury I ever aquired (except for skinned knees from the bike) was aquired while dealing with livestock.

When I was in high school I was very active in 4-H and FFA. As a freshman my horse judging team placed first at State FFA Contests and we went to Nationals. When I graduated from high school there were universities interested in me simply because of my competitive judging skills. I raised Suffolk sheep and showed Arabian horses (because that one Quarter Horse we had tried to kill me). During the course of my 4-H career I won almost every event I participated in at one time or another (not there weren't people who consistently beat me). Round Robin (where top showman from each species compete to be THE top showman. Large animal round robin is sheep, horses, beef cattle, dairy cattle, pigs, goats, and sometimes llamas. Small animal round robin is rabbits, cavies, poultry, pygmy goats, cats, and dogs) was my favorite event- except that I never did get the hang of either showing or judging swine. I was a District FFA officer, attained the State FFA Degree, and always placed 2nd in the parliamentarian contest at State FFA Convention.

The reason I don't write these things on the blog is because (having just looked over my post) it doesn't sound good. There are way to many "I"s. It's not polite. It looks remarkably like boasting :-) Tonight I don't care. I'm tired of listening to people talk about things they don't know anything about. I'm tired of having people assume that because I'm a stay at home mom I know nothing of the rest of the world. I really resent it when people assume that because my life moves at the pace of a three year old I only know what a three year old knows. It really bothers me when men make the assumption that I must not have an intelligent opinion because I'm a wife and mother (and don't have a penis- thank God). In general I am really amused by people who keep saying, "I'm intelligent," If you're intelligent you shouldn't have to tell people- they should be able to figure it out without you labeling yourself for them.

What I'd really like you all to know is that I am more than a wife and mother. My world does not begin and end with potty training and bread baking. There is more going on in my head than laundry detergent recipes and methods of teaching reading. Please don't underestimate my intelligence or ability to assimilate and analyze data. In return I will try to remember that all of you most likely do not blog about everything going on in your heads either. We all have areas of our life we choose to share with the world. That doesn't mean that our worlds hold only the things we write about.

Fairtime, fairtime

This is our last week to get everything wrapped up with our 4-H projects. Interview evaluations are on Monday, July 13th. Chris will be doing an interview this year. It's still optional to have Cloverbuds interview but I think the practice will be good for him. Next year he'll be a regular 4-Her and the interview will be required.

Chris will be entering a cake in the fair since he attended all the cake decorating meetings. Family, Consumer Science and misc. projects check into the fair on Monday, July 20th. He'll also be showing a pygmy goat and a guinea pig. They check in on the 21st. Goats show the afternoon of the 22nd. Rabbits and Cavies show the morning of the 23rd. The fat stock sale is the 24th and Chris would like to be a runner during that event. Our club picnic is the 25th and we also get to go home that evening.

I'm the leader for cake decorating, rabbits, and cavies. For some reason I also agreed to help with the cloverbud project this year. Next year I would like to send my small animal kids to a leader in Middleton and switch my focus towards the sheep project. Chris will have a market lamb next year and since sheep are my first love- that's the project I'd like to work with. Cake decorating has been so much fun and I've learned so much- I'd like to offer it again next year. Hopefully there will be some members interested in taking the project!

Today, I am tired. I can hardly wait for fair to be over! Chris is excited and can't understand why I'm not as happy as he it that it is fair time. My mother is pleased to see the experience coming full circle since she still remembers the days when I was a 4-Her and she was tired.

I've been thinking a lot about some of my 4-H leaders and how mcuh they impacted my life. Steve and Tish Oki were amazing, kind, wise people. My life is different and I am a better person because they were in my life. It's been several years since they died and I still miss them. It's my hope that I can make a difference in the lives of my members too. Unfortunately I'm not as amazing, kind, or wise as Steve and Tish were. Here's hoping age and maturity improve me :-)

Ahh... the relaxing, quiet, days of summer

We are a 4-H family. Some families are sports families. Some are video game families. Some are simply TV watching families. We are a 4-H family.

What does that mean? It means many things and at any given time of the year my answer to that question may be different. Right now, today, the beginning of July, it means that fair is quickly approaching and our time is filled with record books, project meetings, and discussions about exhibits and showmanship.

We knew when our 4-H year began (October 1st each year) what the fair dates would be. We knew. It's written on all of our 4-H calendars and published each month in the Lines for Leaders newsletter mailed out from the extension office. Yet, come June every year we run around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to make sure we've met all the project requirements, completing our record books, and preparing for fair. I think it's a possibility that 99% of all 4-Hers are procrastinators (and so are their leaders).

About this time every summer I begin to question whether I'm willing to be a 4-H leader next year. I question my own organization, teaching abilities and methods, and wonder how I could have forgotten to include subjects n and x during project meetings this year. I fear that my kids won't be prepared for competition and that their embarrassment will be all my fault.

I forget that as a leader I am responsible for assisting the members in my projects. Assisting. There are members who always ask questions and seek out knowledge and experience on their own. They gain skills and knowledge in the gap between meetings. They attend functions other than club meetings, like shows and contests, and through experience their skill set expands.

Then there are the members who only attend meetings (and don't make it to every meeting). They don't go to the shows and contests that occur during the year. Their skill set is developed during our project meetings. Their skills don't change much from meeting to meeting. I feel more responsibility to them because everything they know comes to them through me. But I can't teach everything in a year. Expertise comes through repeatedly experiencing and participating in activities and events that build their skills.

I can only assist. Ask me a question. I'll tell you where to look to find answers. Work with me. Come to meetings and participate. Participate physically as well as mentally because knowing isn't as important as doing. Through doing you'll gain the knowledge. You'll also gain confidence in your own ability to learn and succeed. If you let me, I will help you, but I can't do it for you.Remember that you are in charge of your own learning experience. I'm the assistant.

I wish we'd learned more about diseases this year- but we had one member show up at the January meeting and one member show up at the February meeting where we would normally discuss health and diseases. I wish we'd butchered a rabbit this year, but we're really out of time. I wish all of my rabbit and cavy members had attended an open show this year. The opportunity was there, but only one member participated in the local open show. I wish the members understood that in order to really master this subject they have to immerse themselves within the industry in some way. They don't have to own 40 animals and breed them, but it would be great if they looked for opportunities to handle and examine as many animals as they can find.

I wish that I didn't feel as if the desire to learn about this project means that mastery of the subject is the ultimate goal. I wish that I could relax and accept that mastery comes over time and one year is not much time to spend learning. I wish that parents would also relax and look for mastery over time instead of mastery by fair time.

4-H isn't about the fair. 4-H isn't about winning. 4-H isn't even about the record books.

4-H is about building life skills. It's about making goals and incrementally meeting those goals. It's about teamwork and cooperation and learning how to learn. It's about sportsmanship and responsibility. It's about giving your best effort. Some days it's simply about showing up.

All year long we've shown up. We've put in time every month working on this project. We've worked with members of three different 4-H clubs. We've formed friendships. We've learned not to brush our teddies. We've learned to bring ice bottles with our rabbits during summer travel. We've filled out camp scholarship applications. We've learned to fill out entry forms and record books. We've learned to pose our animals.

Fair is coming. 4-H isn't about the fair.

My kids are weird

I was late getting dinner on the table tonight because I got distracted playing in the garden (with Dave). Apparently the children were hungry (there was shredded BBQ beef in the crockpot- I just needed to make buns, cook a veggie, and set the table). Chris joined us in the garden with a bowl in his hand. I didn't think much of it until I made it back into the house to complete dinner prep.

Chris was sitting at the kitchen table with Jake and they were sharing a salad. The salad was full of beet greens and bok choy, butter bib lettuce, nasturtium flowers, tiny carrots, chives, parsley, and basil. It looked kinda weird. However, they'd sprayed it with balsamic viniagrette and were chowing down on the strange greens while they waited for me to finish cooking.

I've heard that kids on the Austism spectrum are picky eaters, rigid in their likes and dislikes, afraid or unable to try new things. Not Chris. If it's green- he'll eat it. If it grows in the garden- he'll eat it. If we see it in the grocery store and it looks interesting- he'll eat it. I know fairly normal grown-ups who don't eat as varied a diet as my children do.

People sometimes ask me how I get my kids to eat vegetables. The only answer I can come up with is- I simply don't care whether they eat them or not. I eat vegetables (but I truly don't like root veggies, which my kids all love). I serve vegetables at least twice a day, fruit three or four times a day. We're always looking for new ways to cook or serve veggies.

The kids enjoy helping in the garden and watching the vegetables grow. I think this makes them naturally curious and open to eating the product of their toil (bet you thought I'd never use that FFA Creed ever again, huh?). We start seeds on the patio in March and then move them to the garden the middle of May. Sam only cares about pumpkins and squash. He doesn't participate with the rest of the garden (but we do have about 16 mounds of cucubit type plants). Jake doesn't really work in the garden, but he likes to help harvest stuff. Chris has his own grow box and portions of two others that he cares for on his own (and he is much more conscientious than I am about caring for the garden).

Every trip to the grocery store we try to bring home something we've never tried before. Sometimes it's a vegetable. Sometimes it's a cut of meat. Sauces, condiments, and ethnic foods have all found their way onto our pantry shelves where they're rapidly consumed. Trying new things has become an adventure, quest, and lifestyle for our family. In the beginning I made up the "adventure" as a way to keep my mind from stagnating (any more than it already had). I needed a challenge that required me to flex my mind without taking any more time or energy than I was already spending caring for my family and house.

Now, seven years later, we see the result of my challenge. My children are weird. But they're weird in a good way and even though I catch myself laughing at them (often) I really enjoy the little people they're becoming.

Classrooms of the Heart

I saw this video on Barbara Frank's blog (barbarafrankonline.com) and liked it so much I copied it so that any of you who don't already read Barbara's blog will have an opportunity to watch.

Gatto's teaching philosophy resonates particulary with me because much of what he is saying about educating teens and teaching real responsibility is exactly what our teens experience through participation in 4-H.

Hmmm.... recipes?

Chris found a brand new (albeit broken) recipe binder in the garage today. He's fascinated with all the dividers, the recipe sheets, and the binder itself.

I've had a hard time getting Chris to read and practice his writing lately. Here's my newly hatched (and now documented) plan for summer instruction. Two days a week Chris will help make a meal (whichever meal he'd like to cook during the day). Before he gets to cook he has to locate a recipe he'd like to try.

Ok, here's the educational, language arts, genius part of the idea: He must copy the recipe into his binder.

After a whole summer of cooking he should have a good grasp of copying measurements and words. Following directions in sequential order, double checking measurements, using measuring tools, learning cooking terminology... what a treasure chest full of new skills he can gain by the end of the season. Plus, this is a great opportunity to learn how to prepare some of the vegetables he's growing in his very own garden plot.

Here's hoping mom has the discipline to follow through on this one. Some days it's just so much easier to do everything (especially cooking and cleaning related things) myself. Keep us in your prayers and hopefully the whole family will survive this experience!

Parsnips

Night before last Chris stayed up late and watched "Good Eats" with me. I love Alton Brown (in a purely innocent way). He explains the food chemistry behind cooking. "Good Eats" is my version of continuing education :-) On Friday the show was about hiding vegetables in tasty foods that kids will eat. I admit to some curiosity although I have been known to tell my kids to eat some tator tots before they can have thirds of the brussels sprouts or broccoli (mainly because I wanted to eat more of the brussels sprouts or broccoli).

Alton introduced us to the world of parsnips. He made muffins, fries, and a pear/parsnip puree. Chris watched the entire episode with me. Upon completion he says, "Mom, let's buy some parsnips." Last week Chris wanted to choose his own vegetable while we were grocery shopping. Of course I gave permission. There was a clerk in the produce section stocking cucumbers. You should have seen him do a double take when Chris very confidently chose turnips for his vegetable. He asked if Chris liked turnips and Chris told him that he'd never tried them before but had heard they were good (God only knows who told him that).

This week I went grocery shopping by myself, but I did remember to put parsnips on the list. During the show Alton jokes about stashing them around his kitchen so that he never runs out. I thought of that as I selected eight tuberous specimens. The kids were excited to find new veggies as they helped me put away groceries. I had planned on experimenting with them Monday or Tuesday. By dinner time last night (the groceries came home at 3:30pm, we eat at 6:30) we were down to two and a half parsnips- because the kids ate them raw.

I quickly threw together a batch of muffins, substituting parsnips for fruit. The kids ate them for dessert and again this morning. Perhaps having a stash of this vegetable on hand is a good idea. They're somewhat sweet like carrots, but they also taste a bit like celery and radish- except mild. I guess what I'm saying is: They taste like parsnips and parsnips are good.

Also, beware of what your children watch on tv because they are being trained to become little consumers. I think that watching Alton exclaim over the delights of eating this vegetable made my children view them favorably before they ever even tasted a parsnip. The power of advertising is huge and we frequently take it for granted. So... long live the parsnip! It must be good, because Alton said so :-)

The Wackiest Wildest Weirdest Animals in the World- by Jack Hanna

Yesterday we received, "The Wackiest, Wildest, Weirdest Animals in the World," by Jack Hanna, published by Thomas Nelson. I didn't get the opportunity to look at the book until this evening because my children have been fighting over it for the past day. "The Wackiest Wildest Weirdest Animals in the World" is a big hit with the seven and under crowd living here! Some of the animals covered were very familiar to the family (like lions and ostrich). A couple of the animals (like Bongo) we'd never heard of before. Our kids were definately motivated by the beautiful pictures to read to themselves and find out more about the animals.

Included with the book is a DVD of bloopers from Jack Hanna's TV show. My kids weren't terrifically enthralled with the DVD, but I enjoyed it :-) I'd recommed this book to anyone with younger children.

Exposure - by Brandilyn Collins

I loved this book! All week I kept trying to get into a romance I'd agreed to review and this book sat on my side table, tempting me. Finally, I put the other book aside and started reading Exposure, written by Brandilyn Collins, published by Zondervan. I couldn't put it down. Kaycee Raye lives in fear of unknown people watching her every move. She knows the fear is irrational. It's something she picked up from her mother, who had the same fear. Except- what if her fears aren't irrational? What if someone really is out there? Watching her? Moving things in her house? Leaving vanishing pictures of a dead man in her home?

Exposure is very well written. The suspense kept me on the edge of my seat throughout the entire book. There are no "slow" chapters. Brandilyn Collins has written an amazing action packed story that I highly recommend to anyone interested in mystery/suspense. I'll certainly be looking for more stories written by this author!

Makes me laugh!

This isn't even remotely politically correct, but it made me laugh so hard my sides hurt! I apologize in advance to any new fathers who may read my blog (although I'm betting there aren't any).

American Patriot's Bible: The Word of God and the Shaping of America, Richard G. Lee (editor)

I was so excited waiting for delivery of "American Patriot's Bible: The Word of God and the Shaping of America," edited by Richard G. Lee and published by Thomas Nelson. When the box arrived it was surprisingly heavy. This Bible (NKJV) is hardcover, 9.1 x 7.4 x 1.9 inches in size, and has a shipping weight of 3.7 pounds. My first impression of the book was that it was too large to become a handy reference or to take with me for casual reading.

When I requested this book I was hoping to find that it used biblical references to uphold the principles of liberty and democracy that are the cornerstones of American government. Instead, as I read, this Bible gave me an unsettling view of America as God's promised land. I am both a patriot and a Christian, but the concept that we are special and blessed by God above other nations makes me feel very uncomfortable.

There are lots of interesting historical tidbits scattered throughout this edition. I think the overall effectiveness of this Bible would be improved if it were split into a two book set- the NKJV Bible and a companion book with all of the historical tidbits, speech excerpts, and other commentary. While the "American Patriot's Bible" is advertised as a study bible, I don't think it really is. Instead it is a collection of short biographies, parts of speeches, and historical trivia compiled between the pages of the Bible.

What is marriage?

______, I take you to be my wife/husband from this time onward, to join with you and to share with you all that is to come: to give and to receive, to speak and to listen, to inspire and to respond, and in all circumstances of our life together to be loyal to you with my whole life and all my being, until death parts us. -adapted from the Lutheran Book of Worship

How do you define marriage? I'm not talking about the Prop 8 debate. What I would really like to know is how you define your marriage. What is important to you? Why did you get married? How did you choose your mate? What value do you place on marriage? Does religion or faith affect your view of marriage?

Our marriage occurred on Nov. 4, 2000 in a Lutheran Church. We formed a covenant marriage which includes three individuals- Dave, me, and God. Faith does figure into our marriage. It was (and is) important to me to have God as part of our relationship. Together, the three of us, can handle any challenges.

Legally, all of our assets are combined (although Dave keeps telling me that in the event of a divorce he gets to keep my college dishes- since I gave them to him while we were dating when I bought new ones). We share our bank accounts, our pantry, responsibility for our children, housework, yardwork, and cheesecake. There is not much individual ownership within our household. Within the confines of our own walls we are a benevolent socialist dictatorship. Dave and I make the laws, most goods are shared, individuals recieve commodities based on their needs rather than their contribution to the household (everyone contributes to the household).

After almost nine years of marriage we are no longer newlyweds. Life has sometimes been challenging, sometimes fun, sometimes sleep deprived, and always joyful (except when it's not). We had our first child right before our first anniversary (missed it by three days!). Our third child was born two weeks before our first kid turned four. That means we have not spent a lot of time alone during our marriage. I think our biggest challenge will come when the kids leave home and we're simply a husband and wife instead of Dad and Mom.

I love my husband and love does enter into our marriage. We have been growing children for all but 3 months of our marriage, but I don't think marriage is about the children- they're just a byproduct of our union (wow, that sounds vaguely pornographic).

Marriage is a relationship more enduring than mere friendship. We are committed for life and beyond to this individual we each chose back when we were young, thin, and lacking maturity. Together we have grown, changed, and endured. Endurance sounds bleak and a bit harsh, but it isn't. Endurance is what it's all about.

Don't take it for granted.

A threat to freedom anywhere is a threat to freedom everywhere. The loss of freedom comes slowly and slips into our lives in non-threatening ways. Smoking's bad for you- let's make it illegal to smoke anywhere outside of your home. Guns can be dangerous- let's make it harder to purchase them. Education is important- let's implement lots of testing and mandate that all children learn the same thing at the same time. Seat belts save lives- let's make it a crime not to wear one. Speaking out against the current administration is seditious- let's start wire tapping the phones of citizens who speak out against our elected officials.

It's easy to turn the other way when you see someone losing freedoms- as long as it's not your freedom that' being encroached upon. I'm allergic to cigarette smoke. Heck- I stand upwind when burning ditches in the spring because I simply hate smoke.  A smoking ban in restaurants sounds like good news to me! All that nasty smoke is bad for me. You shouldn't be able to smoke in my presence. In fact, why don't you just quit smoking? I think there should be a law dealing with that. 

Forget the right of a private property owner to choose how to use his own property. Forget my right to patronize a non-smoking business. It's just plain common sense to force people to quit smoking. I don't smoke. My friends don't smoke. Heaven knows my children should not ever smoke. That guy who lives down the road- it should be a crime for him to smoke.

Ok, maybe I don't really think it should be a crime to smoke cigarettes. They are really gross though. I don't smoke and neither do my friends or family members. So... if you want to pass laws criminalizing smoking I won't support them- but I won't oppose them either. Anti-smoking laws don't affect me.

A threat to freedom anywhere is a threat to freedom everywhere. What happens when it's parental rights at stake? What if the mainstream media goes after homeschooling parents or private religious schools? When it's our turn to give up our freedom- who will stand for us? Who will stand with us? We are not a majority. If majority rule is what it's all about and the majority are apathetic towards our choice- will we retain the freedom to educate our children as we see fit?

Common sense is not something that should (or can) be legislated. Yes, it's good common sense to always know where your children are and keep them safe. Does that mean a parent is criminally negligent if they allow a child to climb a tree? Is it ok to climb the tree so long as the child doesn't fall out of the tree? Is it ok to fall out of the tree so long as no bones are broken? If the child falls and gets scratches and bruises should that be grounds to terminate parental rights? This may seem like a meaningless argument- but it's the direction we're headed.

When you try to legislate morality and good common sense you quickly criminalize many acts that aren't truly criminal. Government should not be so bulky and all encompassing that normal people live in fear of accidentally breaking the law. Laws should exist only for the most extreme situations (murder and assault being quite extreme). 

Next time you hear about proposed bans on certain activities or greater government oversight for anything, ask yourself, "what happens if this law isn't passed?" Fear of what might happen allows us to trample all over other people's rights. "What if my children see that man drinking a beer? They might grow up to be alcoholics?" Of course you could talk to your kids about the lemmings jumping off the cliff. "What if my kid grows up to be gay because we gave homosexuals equal rights?" Of course your kid could grow up to be suicidal when they realize the majority of the men like women and they are going to be shunned within their family and community. "What if that kid with cancer dies because his mother allowed him to refuse chemo?" What if that kid dies anyway and spends his last year in hell on Earth because he's forced to do chemo?

Life is hard. The answers aren't easy. There is no cheat sheet to refer to when working through the trials of life. Don't allow freedom to be stolen from a few individuals just because their issues aren't your issues. Some day your freedom will come under fire. Make sure you've worked to protect others and hopefully they'll stand with you when it's your turn to fight.

Completed Projects (how few and far between they are...)

Sam took this picture by himself. It's one of my favorite pictures of the little boys.

The first part of May we were invited to a birthday party for a three year old girl. I didn't have time to go shopping so we made her a bag (what a surprise that probably is to most of my readers- all two of you).  The guinea pig food all of our friends use comes in muslin feed sacks. I've been itching to get my hands on some of them and finally a friend of ours gave me about 40 sacks. They have gotten a lot of use in sack race context. They also make great hidey holes for stuffed animals. I used one for the lining in Camryn's bag. The remnants made for some very classy wrapping paper. We are nothing if not classy.

It feels like we have been very busy with schoolwork and yardwork around here lately. Many, many weeks ago I posted pictures of my fabric for Rylee's quilt and the top for Grandma D's quilt. Today I finally have pictures of the completed Churn Dash quilt for Dave's grandma! My in-laws are headed to Burley tomorrow for Memorial Day and the quilt is complete and ready to go with them. I am so glad to finally have it off my sewing table! It would have been gone long ago but it took forever for the backing fabric to get  here.

arrrrgggghhhhhh

Sam had a doctor's appointment today with the ear, nose, throat specialist. Every other time we've seen him (all 4 times that is) I've been very happy with this doctor. Today I'd like to write a letter of complaint to him. The only thing stopping me is that I'm worried I'm PMSing and possibly took things the wrong way. 

Two weeks ago I took Sam to his pediatrician because he was complaining that his ear hurt. Since he has tubes in his ears I was worried that this meant he had lost a tube and now had an ear infection. Before he got the tubes Sam had such a bad infection it bulged the ear drum out. He was asymptomatic. No fever. No tugging at the ear. No complaining of pain. Just speech delayed. 

In Sam's entire life he's been on oral antiobiotics three times. He took them when he was six months old and had a sinus infection in conjuction with his bout with yersinia enterolytica. After  his surgery to place the tubes Sam took antibiotics for 10 days. Two weeks ago, after using a CT scan to diagnose, Sam was given two weeks of antibiotics to treat a very bad sinus infection. Sam turns five next month.

Today we returned to the ENT office for a follow-up on the sinus infection. Three days ago Sam's nose started to run again. As each day passes the mucus gains a bit more color. I mentioned this to the P.A. He told me (after examining Sam's adenoids) that we needed to keep Sam on a nasal spray (Veramyst) and "irrigate" his nose with saline at least three times a day. I asked him how to go about "irrigating" Sam's nose without having to hold him down.

He told me that he was the wrong man to ask. The gist of his comments concerned lecturing me about overuse of oral antibiotics (because apparently parents like me are at real risk of overusing antibiotics). He also told me that he'd physically restrain his daughter (the same age as Sam) in order to treat her. Saline works as well as oral antibiotics in fighting chronic sinus infection- this is good to know. It wasn't until the end of the conversation that he finally thought to describe the process of "irrigating" the nose. 

You have to understand that the last time a medical professional mentioned irrigation to me it was as I was using much of my own body weight to hold down a pygmy goat undergoing a c-section. When she talked of "irrigating" she meant, "pour a couple gallons of warm, sterile, saline over the incision so that I can look for bleeders." The doctor today apparently meant "moisten by spraying bottled saline up his nostril for half a second."

Did the man start out telling me how to treat Sam's nose? No, instead he lectured me about my parenting skills (since I'm opposed to holding my children down and treating them- instead I like to treat them as creatures of reason) and about overuse of antibiotics (yet, the bulk of antibiotics Sam has taken were prescribed by him- twice).

Central to my parenting philosophy has always been a deep respect for my children. I will not hold any of them down three times a day for medical treatment. They deserve better. Doctors should be able to offer advice about treatment that doesn't include physical restraint for almost five year olds. I didn't ask for a different solution- just advise about how to implement his instructions. 

Twenty years of working with horses has taught me that brute force is rarely needed and often causes way more harm than good. Sam won't be five and weigh 42 pounds for very long. I need to establish a relationship with him that is founded on trust. Sometimes he needs to do things that are scary or unpleasant. How can I get him to do those things once he's as big as I am if I treat him as if his fears and needs don't matter now? Sure, in an emergency I have no problem restraining him when it's for his own good- but three times a day, every day? No way. There has to be a better way to gain compliance. Of course it would be helpful if the doctor explained the treatment better. Irrigate. Moisten. Totally different actions. 

Oh dear! Chris has learned to surf the web!

 I think it's time to activate my parental controls feature for the internet. Chris has learned to surf the net. He loves youtube! Since he frequently searches "bunny" and "rabbit" I'm a bit concerned about him finding "bunnies" that are not lagomorphs!

Reflections on ceremony, death, and hope

Does anyone ever enjoy attending a funeral? It's not a happy occasion. The "man of the hour" is not able to actively participate or contribute to the remarks (as you know he would have liked). Most difficult of all- if the life you're celebrating is that of a person you usually hang out with when attending funerals- the loss is even more apparent. When the speakers say something entirely too preachy or serious it's automatic to look towards Uncle K- but today he wasn't there. I mean his body was there- in a box- at the front of the room. But to quote Matthew 28:6, "He is not here, he is risen," and he is sorely missed.

Unfortunately, Dave's family has provided me with the opportunity to attend many funerals in the past 10 years. I've only attended 3 funerals for friends and family on my side in the same amount of time. Ten years is a long time for reflection about what I do, and do not, like at any given funeral. My husband will think me very macabre, so we won't tell him what this post is about and he most likely won't ever read it on his own. If I die, could someone please print out my wishes in time to plan the funeral around them?

I love music and singing. When I die I'd love to have lots of music and singing. My absolute favorite hymns are:  1. Simple Gifts,  2. Bringing in the Sheaves, and  3. Joyful, Joyful. I'm also rather fond of, "How Great Thou Art," but it's so common at funerals that you don't have to sing it at mine (unless you want to).

If the pastor gives a sermon at my funeral I would like it to be about hope, promise, service, and the enduring nature of love. I do not want the officiating person (or any other speaker) at my funeral to speak about:  1. Tithing, 2. The work we must do to earn a place in heaven, 3. My late acceptance of the importance of the church organization (which hasn't happened yet, and may never happen), 4. The importance of obedience to church doctrine (because we all know that I only really care about Love God and love one another- I could care less about conforming to church doctrine), and 5. The opportunity my death gives all the people attending my funeral to accept the Lord as your Saviour (It's not that I don't think that's important- funerals just aren't the place for recruiting new people).

You may talk about service to others (but only if it makes me sound good and actually applies to the live I've led). It would be acceptable to talk about Jesus and the resurrection and how that event gave us all everlasting life (but I'll haunt you if you suddenly shout, "Come to me Jesus!" or begin swaying and moaning). I'd really like the religious part of the event to last fewer than five minutes and it should be something that is comforting (seriously, if there is talk of tithing at my funeral I'll haunt everyone who was there and let that sort of talk occur). 

My favorite type of funeral occurs in small, rural churches where all the people in the community know each other. The pastor speaks of the glory and mercy of God. He reminds us that life everlasting is ours once we part from the Earthly realm. Then (after a very brief sermon- like 3 to 5 minutes) the pastor passes the microphone through the congregation and invites everyone to share their memories of the deceased. It's amazing to hear how lives were touched, history was made, and love endured throughout any given individuals life.  

Death is a natural part of life. It's hard on those of us who have to move forward without the companionship of our loved ones but I think that we owe it to them to celebrate a life well lived. We owe the widows, the children, and the friends of the deceased the opportunity to know that our lives were touched, our hearts were changed, or simply that we are better people for having known the person who is missing from our gathering that day.

I can't even begin to put into words how much we'll miss Uncle K. He was a unique individual (as all of the Anderson's are truly, amazingly, hilariously unique). Watching the Anderson siblings was more entertaining than any television show I've ever seen. Aunt Barbara, Aunt Betty, Uncle K, and Larry - I keep trying to type what it's like watching this group and the words won't come. They are close. They play tricks on each other (especially Barbara and K). I hope my boys are that close when they are grown.  There's so much I'd like to say, but the words just won't come in any coherent form- except- Sam is rotten, and sweet, joking, and serious... and he very much reminds me of K. Every time we'd see K and Sam would be ornery (which occurs pretty much every day) I'd blame K- and he would grin.

Book Review: His Name is Jesus by Max Lucado

This book is beautiful! It is a feast for the senses. The pages are filled with beautiful pictures, verses from the Bible, and Lucado's own prose. Truly a gift book, the presentation is beautiful. The book is encased in a hard sleeve, it's printed on heavy weight glossy paper. My children love looking through the book simply because it is beautiful. 

Even though the story of Jesus is a familiar one, Lucado's writing caused me to look at what I thought I knew of Jesus and reconcile it with what we know of humanity. "Completely human, completely divine," The book reads like a series of short essays which makes it perfect for reading out loud to our children. While reading this book my 4 year old realized for the first time that Jesus was once a four year old boy- just like him. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who would like to refresh their memories of Christ's story. It makes a wonderful starting point for family Bible study!

Amy- Ideas?

A friend of mine gave me a bunch of muslin feed sacks. I'm trying to figure out how best to use them. Grocery bags? Tote bags? Bread bags? I really like bags. Can you tell? I promised to make her something out of a few of them to use in the cavy club's raffle at one of the upcoming shows. I've been tossing around the idea of making one of the origami bags and figuring out how to add straps.  The muslin is quite thin so I think it would work best to layer batting scraps between two pieces of muslin and quilt the whole cloth. Then I  could bind the edge with something colorful and attach (somehow) wide straps which have also been layered with batting and quilted.

Does anyone have a suggestion for me? Has anybody else made fun, useful, and inexpensive things using muslin? I've debated making pillowcase dresses out of some of them but the boys don't think they'd be fun to wear :-) I can't imagine why not.

Overheard at Wal-Mart

While standing still and checking items off my shopping the list the other day I happened to overhear an interesting conversation. No, I wasn't eavesdropping- because I wasn't intentionally listening. It was only later that I realized the full importance of what I'd overheard.

The speakers were both older males. They were conservatively dressed (no earrings or holes in their clothes). If I had to guess their religion I think it wouldn't be hard to accurately classify them. One of them was talking about a young family that he had recently visited. The wife was overwhelmed caring for her small children (apparently she had several) and her house. It was apparent to this man that the woman was overwhelmed because her house was a mess, her children had dirty faces, her lawn wasn't mowed, and the car had dirt on it too.

In response the the first man's concerns the second man responded by affirming that this family had been active in their church in the past, but currently did not regularly attend. The first man really wanted to gather ideas for how he could help this family. The second man told him that the best way to provide assistance was to emphasize how important church attendance was. He elaborated by stating that obviously the husband was not acting properly in his capacity as the religious head of his household. The wife was not performing her duties well because she was not as involved in church as she should be. If only she would spend more time praying and in service to her family- everything would look up.

This was about the time I finished updating my shopping list and moved on. I'm not sure what the concerned man who started the conversation said in reply. I hope he told the first man that this family would be better able to function (and come to church and devotion to God) if people could provide some sort of relief for the overwhelmed mother (and possibly her husband- I don't know his story at all). I hope both those men realized that young mothers (especially when dealing with more than one child under the age of five) actually require sleep before they can efficiently do anything. I also hope that the second man- the one who thought the family was having problems because they weren't attending church regularly enough- I hope that he has at some point had to perform all the functions of his day with one hand tied behind his back and one leg chained to a thirty pound rock that goes everywhere with him (including the bathroom).